prada shoes and chunky spew

Sitting backstage at the Revesby RSL Club

Dad’s on stage right now 

(I definitely have a gift for the blurry live pics don’t I?)

He’s having a big ol’ sing-a-long with 500 of his closest mates

 

I just spoke to Glenn at half time

Glenn has almost been to more of my shows than I have

He’s a big fan of the blog, so I told him I’d put his pic in

Superstar!

 

And now I’m back here wondering what to blog about

This is my best “I dunno” face

It actually looks a lot like my “I just farted” face

And my “what do you mean there’s no sprinkle donuts left” face

Hmmm…. might be time to get me a new face

 

Anyhoooooo…

I’ve just remembered last night’s show in North Sydney

What a corker!

I don’t have any photos to go with this story

But if you use your imagination, you can visualize how it all went down

North Sydney is a fairly well-to-do area

It was a sold out show and the crowd was having a lot to drink an amazing time

In particular, there was a lady in the front row

She was absolutely wasted going off

She was pretty tipsy when I was on – so she was a fucking mess nice and blitzed by the time Dad came on stage

Standing up, dancing, singing along badly loudly

OK,  cut to the chase

She spewed

A lot

All over the front row

The poor lady sitting at the next table totally copped it

All over her previously awesome, and stupidly expensive shoes

And she was totally cool about it

But the highlight of my night came about 4 songs later

When a guy all the way up the back of the room got excited about Dad playing his favourite song

It was ‘Santa Claus’ I think

He came running down to the front of the stage waving his hands, yelling and singing

I think he was trying to just get to Dad and maybe shake his hand

We never found out

‘Cause he went arse over tit when he slipped in the vomit patch left by the night’s previous dancing fool

IT was fucking gold

I couldn’t even feel bad for him

It took everything I had to stop the wee from runnig down my leg

I think my main reason for laughing so hard was because this kind of shit does NOT happen in places like North Sydney

Kalgoorlie yes

North Sydney no

 

I should have known it was going to be an interesting night when we got there

And there were 2 down syndrome kids on the stage

They got separated from their bingo group that were playing in another part of the complex

They read the backdrop and were running around in circles singing the word DILLIGAF over and over

I told them it meant, “DO I LOOK LIKE I GOT A FISH?”

 

I know

I totally lied to the disabled kids

 

Like I was going to heaven anyway

 

** DILLIGAF really = do I look like I give a fuck?