body language

So this is the first time that I’ve traveled and noticed changes in security etc regarding the blown way out of proportion swine flu

I had to fill out an extra form to get off in New Zealand (in transit)

Then another one to get off in Melbourne

Do I have a fever?

Do I feel unwell?

Have I had sexual relations with any pigs? 

Then you have to walk ‘slowly’ so that these cameras can record your body heat

I was actually a little nervous

And started to get a bit sweaty

I thought for sure that the sirens were going to start blaring and all the alarms and bells and shit would go crazy

You have to worry about that kind of stuff when you are fucked in the head a red hot blooded mama!

 

 

And now they reckon that we’ll have to go through these cameras as well pretty soon

Where some Uncle Pervy gets to wack off sit at his desk all day checking out the body scans of passengers

Who, let’s face it, are basically naked for him to see

Check out Grandma here with the gun

OK – so she’s got a weapon

Maybe not the best example to use

How about this guy then?

OK – he’s also kitted out like a suicide bomber

 

But if you exclude these two – isn’t it kind of invasive?

Maybe it’s all for the best

Security & safety and blah, blah, blah

I just can’t get excited about anything that’s going to make the whole airport process take even longer

 

Here’s an idea

How about the next time I go to the airport

I turn up naked

With a thermometer up my butt

And pull it out – hand it to security, who can check my temp

Then I’ll just breeze on through

And put my clothes on when I get on the plane

 

 

Who’s with me??