So, while you may not think I’m the healthiest girl on the block
I was watching a show on TV this morning that says otherwise
They did a big story on all the things you need to do to avoid catching the swine flu or any other kind of flu
Use lots of this
I carry little bottles of it in my bag, pockets, guitar case up my arse
note – my kids call this stuff ‘TOP BOTTOM’ instead of hand sanitizer ’cause we sing a little song every time we use it
top, bottom and in between
that’s how we keep our hands clean
Yeah, I know – my kids have a spaz for a mum
I think we established that one about 100 blogs ago!
The story went on to say that red wine every day is a good thing
They did mention something about it only being one glass though not 2 bottles blah, blah, blah
Then there’s daily dose of tea
Which I think is supposed to be green tea
But again blah, blah, blah that’s just sematics
Lots of hand washing is good
But the best part about what they were preaching was the recommendation to eat chocolate
Bucket loads of chocolates
Or was that bite sized chocolate?
I’m going with bucket loads
So, if I follow their instructions
I’ll be really clean & sterile
Need to wee lots
Be half pissed and fat
Hah – I’m not just healthy
I’m a fucking MACHINE!