while the cat’s away

 

 

So on this trip I have my girls with me

And apparently I can get arrested it’s not good parenting to leave them in the car

So Mum / Nanna is official babysitter at night while I’m at work

Normally mum takes care of dad the merchandise at shows 

So my best mate Sammy has flown over from Perth to drink with me every night do the merch for mum

While Mum let’s Miss 3 & Miss 5 get away with murder takes care of the babies

 

Tonight was the first show on this tour at Penrith

It was a good’n too

And directly across from the venue was a Krispy Kreme donut shop

Bad. Bad. Bad.

 

And Dad decided that he felt like a box of them to have on the car ride home

‘Cause he has balls of steel when mum’s not there

I said no

Hollywood said no

And Sammy said yes

So guess who Dad’s new favourite is?

He was so excited

And took for-fucking-ever to pick which sort he wanted

And was trying to justify at least half his order on his grandaughters

He’s full of shit

So after taking for-fucking-ever, he goes to pay

And realises he has no money

Saaaaaaaaamy

Can I borrow some money?

And she’s all like

 Sure Kev – how much do you need?

 

Don’t be surprised if you never see mum at another gig again

But Dad will have gained 20kgs

And you’ll be able to spot the new merch bitch by the size of her Krispy Kreme filled arse