make it up

I’m a fan of makeup

I don’t wear a huge amount of it in the real world

But when I’m at work?

I’m a fan of the transvestite hooker look

Less is more?

Fuck that

More is more

I’m all about the lip gloss, blue eyeshadow, glitter and bright slutty lipstick

I’m forever searching for new shades of tart kinds of makeup

I always use waterproof stuff, ’cause I sweat big time on stage

Like Kirsty Alley at a buffet table kind of sweat

And even with all the waterproof crap I layer on

Some nights I still end up looking like Alice Cooper

After he’s been fucked all night and hung out wet

And lipstick?

Oh fuck, I should have shares in Revlon with all the shit I’ve bought from them over the years

I’m forever looking for a liptstick that stays on, without me ending up looking like a chain smoking 90 year old, with that smudgy-lip look going on

.

So, imagine my utter JOY at finding this stuff

Not just Colourstay

Colourstay ULTIMATE – all together now, ooooooooh!

Oh yeah, I’ll take 2 in every colour

And you know what

It works

It really fucking works

There’s a first time for everything

I mean, these makeup companies can stretch the truth at times yeah?

Think if some of those ads you’ve seen

In the real world, half the women they use are passable at best

But on the ads?

Man, even I’d jump the fence for some of those chicks

They turn out looking HOT!

This new Revlon Colourstay lippy is THE BOMB

No joke

After the show tonight, it was still on, like I’d just applied it

Not even a smudge

But

And there’s always a but

Now I can’t get the shit off

MY MOTHERFUCKING TEEEEEETH!!

This shit is COLOUR FUCKING STAYING!

Good look, no?

All I can say is thank God for days off

‘Cause it’s going to take me the next 24 hours to get this crap off

Hey Revlon,

Fuck you very much!