vajay-jay jewelery

I remember when I was pregnant and how I was such a miserable cow

And I remember they used to do tummy moulds out of plaster

Then paint it or decorate it

And you would have a piece of art, that reminded you how fat you were commemorated your pregnancy

And how much of a miserable cow you were

I never did it

I just didn’t feel comfortable with it

With a stranger covering my stomach and boobs with plaster

Then when it was done

Looking at it hanging on my wall forever

I have some friends that had it done

And they’re so happy they did

I think they might also be the friends that make homemade pornos

It’s kind of cool

Just not for me

In other things that are not for me

And totally FUCKING-WEIRD-AND-WHO-THE-FUCK-BUYS-THIS-SHIT-ANYWAY-FOR-FUCK’S-SAKE??

I give you

VULVA NECKLACES

A vajay-jay on a chain

And these things are MOULDED FROM YOUR OWN VAJAY-JAY!!!!!

The description goes on to say

Why should you hide your vagina pride when you can literally wear its likeness around your neck. You just share the details of your vagina with Etsy seller,VulvaLoveLovely and she’ll whip up a lifelike replica to adorn your neck

So….

Who wants one?

*crickets*

Yeah, I thought so

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Just one question though – the picture confuses me

I thought we were all pink on the inside

Some of us are chocolate?