eat fresh

Anyone who knows Dad knows how much he loves his Subway sandwiches

And I mean LUUURVES them

Like, won’t play in a town that doesn’t haven’t one kind of lurve

He’s got his own little funny way of ordering them too

And God help the sandwich artist (puh-lease!) that doesn’t have their shit together when little Kevvy goes in to order his turkey, tomato, capsicum, pickle, jalapenos, with sweet onion dressing – that is NOT to be poured over the meat, just the salad

Oh yeah, and don’t even THINK about toasting it, unless you want to see a vertically challenged comedian high jump the counter to cut your hands off

It’s his lunch and dinner

That’s a foot long – half now, and the other half after the show

His very particular how his ingredients must be placed ‘evenly’ across the bread

He can turn quite the shade of purple if it’s all plopped in the middle

And if they’ve run out of choc chip cookies?

Well, have you ever seen someone have a mantrum?

It’s kind if like a tantrum, but from a man

It really just consists of him stomping his foot and sticking his bottom lip out

But fuck it’s funny

I’ve been known to race ahead to the local Subway when we get to a town

JUST to be a bitch buy out their whole supply of cookies

Then sit at a corner table and wait for Dad to come in

And soil myself as I watch them tell him they’ve sold out

It’s one of life’s great pleasures!

Someone mentioned the other day that Dad should get a sponsorship from Subway

That’d be awesome

*insert dollops of sarcasm*

Can you imagine?

Not only would we still go to a Subway every day

But then he’d be wearing a Subway costume tshirt

We’d be driving a Subway car

And I’d have to look at his poster when I took a piss went to the toilet in a Subway Restaurant

No thanks

Mind you, I’d be totally up for it if we were talking about Cadbury Chocolate of Yellow Tail wines

I’d whore myself for that shit in a heartbeat!