I always assumed that if I had kids, they’d be boys
So of course, I have 2 girls
And you know what?
It’s fucking awesome
Case in point
Today, ’cause mummy was hungover in relaxing mode
We decided to play beauty shop
Which basically consisted of me, instructing them
In the art of hand massage, foot massage & head massage
While I laid on the couch
And they practiced
On me
And let me tell you
I have hit the mother fucking jackpot with these girls
The whole time
They’re like, mummy, this is so much fun
Can we do this all the time?
I love rubbing your feet
And I’m saying, well only on special days
Like the ones that end in Y
Holy snapping duckshit batman, what a shit hot way to treat your hangover spend a Sunday
I didn’t take any pics
‘Cause that would have required me getting off my arse the couch
.
So I thought I’d see what google images had for me
If I typed in massage
What the fucking FUCK is THIS?
Massages are supposed to be RELAXING
Kinda hard to do when you’re all Medusa-ed out with snakes up your clacker
No thank you very fucking much
.
So then I typed in ‘facial’
To get a pic to use
And I got this
Google has a dirty mind is fucked up