walking wounded

My Mum’s always been a sports nut

That’s another area where I take after my Dad

Since I can remember, she’s played everything

Hockey

Softball

Tennis

Swimming

Golf

She’s just got to be moving at all times

Where as Dad & I are really good at staying still

Comatosed even

When she sits down at the end of the day

She usually falls asleep within minutes ’cause she’s gotta be fucking knackered

With all of this craziness sport comes the inevitable injuries

She’s broken her wrist, her fingers

Been stitched up from arsehole to breakfast from head to toe over the years

This is where I think the whole, ‘exercise is good for you’ becomes bullshit

‘Cause if it’s so good for you, it shouldn’t hurt, right?

But all of that doesn’t seem to bother Mum

So, it was no big surprise when I got a call from Mum last week

Telling me that she was on crutches

She’d been playing softball and was sliding into home base

And when she got up, she’d split her leg open

And I’m like, dude – aren’t you playing like old people veteran’s softball?

Maybe you guys should be wheeling each other into home base

Not sliding into it

Like kamikaze ninjas on crack

And she’s all, oh fuck off don’t worry, I’m fine

I’ll have the leg brace off in time to play in the finals next week

.

And that right there is where I have learnt my theory on parenting

.

If you can’t be a good example

Be a horrible warning