Most of you would be aware that I’m a tech head
Not in the, ‘I know what I’m talking about’ sense
More like the, ‘I just like shiny gadgets with buttons’ sense
And if I can get them to work, even a little bit, I’m happy
I have no doubt I get this from Dad
He’s been a gadget junky since I can remember
He had one of the first mobile phones
You know, the ones the size of a small house?
He was the first Aussie entertainer to have his own website
And these days, he’s quite the Mac head
Loving his Macbook laptop
iPhone – and anything else Apple brings out
Needless to say, he cracked a poopy was quite miffed when he realised that my iPhone was newer than his
Not a great difference between them
Mine may be a little faster – and I can video with it
So he’s all, ‘I want a new one too’
I told him to stop whining just go get one
‘You wanna come with me?, he asked with his bestest, cheekiest grin?’
Just to let you know that Dad doesn’t like doing ANYTHING on his own
Eating, driving, shopping, walking
He likes to have company
And usually it’s good to keep him supervised
But still, impulse reaction to going to any sort of retail outlet with Dad is,
Oh hell-to-the-NO!
This reaction is not without justification
This is the man, who when not served in a timely manner, will stand in the middle of the store and yell, ‘who do I have to fuck to get served in this place?’
Funny I know
But not when your standing right next to him
But worse than that – phone shopping could turn out to be an added nightmare
Keep in mind that one of Dad’s most popular songs, ever, is called DICTAPHONE
And it’s about bad service from phone companies
And he wrote it about the very phone company we were going to
The big sing-a-long line in said song is, ‘Stick that fucking phone – up your fucking arse!’
So as we walked into the shop I’m mumbling non-stop under my breath, ‘please nobody recognise him – PLEASE nobody recognise him’
‘Cause all it would take is one person to walk up and say, ‘Hey, aren’t you….?’
And then, ‘You wrote a song about this mob didn’t ya Kev? How does it go again?’
And he’d be off
Singing, getting everyone to join in
And we’d get kicked out
As has happened too many times to count on odd occasion
.
Well, my inner dialogue must have worked
Because no one said anything
You bloody beauty
He got his new phone
Mum got one too which she didn’t even want but Dad said she had to if she wanted to hang out withthe cool kids
And everyone was happy
Until he lost his wallet 10 minutes later at the food hall
You can’t take that kid ANYWHERE!
And after Mum & Dad finished with the, ‘you had it – no YOU had it – no I gave it to YOU’ banter back & forth that old married couples do
We went back to the food hall
And his wallet had been handed in by someone who found it on the floor
And the kicker?
All his credit cards & ALL his cash were still in there
UNTOUCHED!
How unbelievable is that?
So there ARE advantages to being a shit head trouble maker
I’ve no doubt that whoever found his wallet took one look at the driver’s license
And thought, ‘oh shit, this is Kev’s?
‘Not worth the fucking trouble’
And gave it straight back
I have a phone with a camera…I have never used!!! I’m a Technomoron…My son loves his…It looks like yours! 🙂
How nice that there are still a few HONEST people left in this World! Always a great thing to hear. Maybe next Christmas you can get Dad a chain to attach to his wallet and his belt loop.
Personally, if I were the manufacturer, I’d make ’em with a wallet clip and a cockring…they never seem to forget where that is.