fair & just

As I type this

Miss 6 & Miss 4 are upstairs in ‘timeouts’

Miss 6 in her room

And Miss 4 in my office

Normally a timeout would mean them saying, Yes Mummy, putting on their best remorseful faces

And heading upstairs to play or read a book

Not today

Today they are both sitting on the carpet, in the middle of each room

Doing nothing

I’m not sure how long I’m going to let them stew

Is a month too long?

What sort of discipline do you guys use?

‘Cause while the girls are full of awesomeness

They’re kids

And kids can be arseholes

Doesn’t mean we don’t love ’em

But we all have our days

‘cept me of course, but you knew that already

The trouble started early this week

Miss 6 is on Spring Break from school

So we had the week planned out with fun stuff to do

And lots of playdates

Playdate # 1 – Miss 4 ate all the other kid’s lunches

And Miss 6 made the little sister cry

Not her own little sister that shit happens daily around here

The 4 year old sister of her school friend

So they both got warnings and a stern talking to blah, blah, blah

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Playdate # 2 – Miss 6 put a bean bag on the little sister (again not her own) and made her cry

And Miss 4 stole their telephone

You read that right

She. Stole. Their. Telephone

It was shoved up the sleeve of her jacket when I was trying to buckle her in her seat as we were leaving

And I said, are you kidding me – you’re STEALING their telephone?

And she just looked at me and said,  yes I am

So they got bigger warnings & a grade A stern talking to

That’s the one where my face changes colour

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Now I know some of you are probably thinking, no one deserves this more than me well they’re just kids and that’s what kids do

And I get that

But it’s my goal in life to one day stop wearing maternity clothes not have THOSE kids

You know the ones I mean, I’m sure

THOSE kids that you can’t take anywhere

THOSE kids that are brats?

THOSE kids that when you see them out, you want to slap ’em upside the head and shoot their parents are sooo glad they’re not yours

(Doesn’t this picture make you want to sew your vajay-jay up?)

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And while I don’t think my kids are even close to being THOSE kids

I’m convinced that even the worst of THOSE kids, must have started out as good kids at some point, right?

So I’m strict

And decided that before playdate #3 today

The girls would clean their toy room

Which looked like an abandoned preschoolers crack house

But they couldn’t do without fighting

So playdate #3 has been cancelled

Yep ,I actually followed through on a threat

I called up playdate #3 and cancelled

And I’m pissed about it

‘Cause today’s playdate was going to be a good one

The Mum is a good friend and she drinks duh, why do you think we’re good friends?

So now I will be drinking at noon, alone having a playdate with myself

*Feel free to insert your own dirty thought here*

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update – just checked on the girls upstairs and they’re asleep thank you, heroin laced cheerios!