that’s what friends are for

We had a few days off between the end of the Tasmania part of the tour

Before we kick off again tonight in Western Australia

Days off are good for sleeping

Laundry

Catching up on stuff that is not fun banking, emails and assorted shit

My best friend drove in from the middle of nowhere out of town to visit

So I got absolutely none of that stuff done

Her & her husband have land in the middle of nowhere the bush and are building a house there

Or, I should say, her HUSBAND is building the house

Like, totally MAKING it himself

He’s almost done

And it’s pretty fucking amazing, I think

They are suposed to be moving in this week

And moving out of their house from hell rental property

But it’s also Sammy’s birthday

We haven’t spent a birthday, hers or mine, together in nearly 10 years

We’ve been mates since I was 18

I was in the room when both her kids were made born

(because I was NEVER having children & it wouldn’t matter if I was scarred for life by the horrors of her natural childbirths)

I’m even Godmother to both of them

Because who wouldn’t want ME in charge of their children’s spiritual wellbeing?

We met when I worked as a waitress/singer on tourist wine cruises

I sucked as a waitress, did OK as a singer & was fucking awesome at the ‘wine’ part

She worked in the ticketing office

I had just broken up with my high school sweetheart

And she convinced me that a night out with her would make it all better

I’m not sure if it helped my broken heart

But I woke up the next day on the kitchen floor of my apartment in my underwear

And she was asleep in the wheelbarrow in the garage

Also in her underwear

So I’m pretty sure we were separated at birth

Sisters from another Mister

So this week,  I was in town for her birthday

Not HER town, but close

So, being the mate she is

She said, fuck the moving and the bazillion other things I have to get done

I’m driving to Perth to see my best mate

And get drunk

And oh my God we did

I’m not sure how old we thought we were how many bottles of red were consumed

Just know that it was too many

And at 3 o’clock in the morning we were up in Mum & Dad’s attic, with flashlights, going through boxes of crap stored clothes/photos/kitchen sinks

And neither of us can remember why

But I got what I deserved

‘Cause holy guacamole, did I feel like arse for the next 24 hours

I even did the whole, I’m never drinking again speech

You’ll be happy to know I changed my mind

.

She is one of the funniest chicks I know

But her funny is because she has no idea she’s funny and is always saying the wrong thing

Really loudly

And fuck it’s funny

She is the best friend you could ever have

(I’ve even forgiven her for the PURPLE bridesmaid dress she made me wear to her wedding. And the hair-do I had, to go WITH the purple, floor length fashion statement? Like a peroxided Granny Boon after an all night orgy – with matching lipstick. She even keeps a massive, framed picture of me in the bridesmaid from 80s hell [& it wasn’t even the 80s!] by her front door. So yeah, I avoid her house at all costs)

The super-est of the super-dooper Aunties to my girls (Miss 6’s words)

She’s part my family forever ’cause she knows too much

Part of our family forever ’cause she helped bury the bodies

And she thinks I’m normal

Everybody deserves a friend like Sammy

But you’ll have to get your own

‘Cause I’m not sharing her