shopping with boys

Most blokes donʼt like to shop

Like my husband

He doesnʼt hate it

He just doesnʼt DO it

Because he doesnʼt CARE

He doesnʼt stress wearing 10 year old t-shirts or jocks with holes in them

In fact, I think he likes it

I, do not

So I shop for him

In the 10 years we have been together, I have purchased every item of clothing in his wardrobe

Every pair of shoes, and yes, every pair of jocks

I donʼt mind this at all

I love to shop

I donʼt care if itʼs light bulbs, beach towels or a dishwasher – if Iʼm shopping, Iʼm happy

My husband, on the other hand, shops twice a year

The day before Motherʼs Day, and the day before Christmas

And I have returned every thing he has ever bought me

Yep – every SINGLE thing

Ungrateful? Me? Not at all

See, my boy Diamond, is stuck in the eighties

If he could have me sporting a bad perm, blue eyeshadow & a Wham t-shirt, heʼd have a permanent boner

So yeah, I do the shopping

And as a polar opposite to this, thereʼs my Dad

The person I inherited my love of shopping from

I also got his short legs & dirty sense of humour

I just thank Christ I look like Mum

But hereʼs the thing – I HATE shopping with Dad

See, Iʼm a purpose shopper

I go in with a list, a plan & an exit strategy

Dad goes in with his credit card and wonʼt leave until heʼs looked in EVERY shop

Have you ever seen someone enjoy browsing through a butcherʼs?

Oh yes he does

Camera shops, hardware stores, supermarkets and ANY PLACE that sells watches or striped menʼs polo shirts

Heʼs not fussy

One shopping centre can take him HOURS to get through

And it does my frigginʼ head in

A couple of weeks ago we were in Cairns, and had a few hours to kill before we had to be at the airport

So heʼs perusing through the souvenir shops

ʻScuse me Dad, but arenʼt those for the Japs?

I was all, hey Dad, do you really need a purse made out of Kangaroo skin or a bloody tea towel with a picture of Ayres Rock on it?

But he wasnʼt listening and had moved on to the menʼs section, where he found a blue shirt he wanted, made out of bamboo

I said, Dad, youʼve bought nine shirts on this trip already

Your case is chockers – do you really need another shirt?

This is not just a shirt, he said.

I can wear this – and if Iʼm having a bad day, I can take it off, roll it up, and smoke it!

Uh Dad, itʼs not made out of HEMP – itʼs made out of BAMBOO

Yeah yeah, whatever, Iʼm getting it anyway

Next time he wants to go shopping, I’m giving him YOUR number

You don’t mind, do you?

super stylish photos from PEOPLE OF WALMART website