much ‘addo’ about something

We went to the ADDO ELEPHANT PARK today

Which is HUGE

Like 168,000 hectares (415137 acres) HUGE!

It’s about 72kms (44 miles) from Port Elizabeth, where tonight’s show was

We had been wanting to go on some kind of ‘safari’

Or just go somewhere we could see African animals

Daz, Holly, Me & Mum made the trip

Dad had radio interviews all morning, so he couldn’t come

We felt bad leaving him

Then we got over it, said seeya sucka – and headed off

Out of respect to the animals I decided not to wear, or take anything leopard skin with me

Which was HARD guys

My first outfit consisted of a leopard skin scarf, purse & undies

So I went with black, black, & black

How unusual

Mum tried to be appropriate with her choice of clothes too

She said she deliberately didn’t wear red

‘Cause she thought that might attract the animals

I’m like, yeah good idea Mum

I’m sure the SHARKS will leave you alone now

I understood that there was a chance we wouldn’t see any animals

That a game park was nothing like a zoo

But was just excited to go

And ride in on of these

Yeah baby

My day was made when I saw hat this would be our ride for the tour

So any animal sightings would be a bonus

Guess what?

We totally saw animals!

It actually gets your heart pumping a bit when you see them in the wild like this

It’s not like a lot of animal parks, in that the animals here are totally self sufficient

Hunt their own food

The researchers here track and monitor them, but otherwise leave them alone

The South African elephant population in the area of this reserve, dwindled to 11 elephants in 1931

And now, because of this sanctuary

Their numbers are now up around 500

So they are doing great work

As well as protecting these very cool animals from hunters

We saw them mainly from a distance

But it was still a big buzz

At one point our car was completely surrounded by buffalo

Who our guide told us, are the most aggressive of the African “BIG 5”

The BIG 5 being, elephants, lions, leopards, rhinos and buffalos

He said the buffalo, unlike other animals, gives no warning when it’s going to attack

And just last month had killed one tourist and injured two others at the park

So here we were, surrounded by the fucking things

Luckily for us, they were lovers, not fighters

And chose to randomly mount each other and start some sexy time

Rather than head butt our vehicle and make a smorgasbord out of us

(you KNOW they would have gone for Holly first)

We saw Kudu, Dung Beetles, Leopard Tortoises, African Ostrich, Meercat, Zebras, Jackal, Dulker, Mongoose, Fox, Grysbrook, Monkeys & Buffalo

And I took some exceptionally blurry photos

So I borrowed most of these snaps from the ADDO website

My favourite were the Warthogs

They looked just Pumba from the lion king

So cute

So I thought a serenade of “The Circle of Life” was in order

Apparently not

Those little bastards gave me the biggest evil eye

Like they wanted to eat me whole

Then make a coat out of my vajay jay and use my nipples for buttons

They obviously don’t appreciate true musical talent

I loved ’em anyway