I guess you’ve all heard that Oprah is heading to Australia
Pretty cool huh?
Remember when I got to go to the Oprah Show with my friend Ruby?
I even have video to prove it
[YOUTUBE]sJpSZIcSkcA[/YOUTUBE]
That’s me doing the Oprah Show Spaz Out Wave at the 3:27 mark
The day I went to the show
The audience received mittens
So, for her first show this year, when I found out she’s taking the ENTIRE audience on a trip to Australia
On a plane flown by John Travolta
Who I realise is totally a closeted gay man
But the tween in me (dressed up as Olivia Newton John) likes to live in denial
[YOUTUBE]lheJV04gPHM[/YOUTUBE]
I wasn’t jealous at all
Huh, why would I be?
It’s not like I’m AUSTRALIAN or anything
It’s not like they’re going to my hometown Perth
Yeah, that’s right, they ARE going to Perth
On a direct flight – which Qantas never normally does
So you usually have to fly Chicago to LA to Sydney THEN to Perth
Where ALL my family lives
I don’t mean to come across all ungrateful n bratty n shit
But, fuck
Fuck
FUCK
At least I have my mittens to dry my bitter tears
Thanks for THAT Oprah
Po-tate-oh’s, Po-tart-oh’s – mittens, overseas holidays. It’s all free, ain’t it? Heh. Feel your pain my dear – p’raphs you can convince Qantas to employ ‘Danny’ to fly the route more regularly. So to speak…
Great minds think alike… I did an Oprah post too. Only I didn’t use the F word QUITE so much!
Love your work!
🙂
BB
OPRAH! OPRAH!! OPRAH!!! I think she may need someone with your International…savy…to show her around. I mean…you’re both in Chicago…You’re both coming to Australia…FFS, some people get cars, holidays & make-overs but you, my friend…YOU have THE MITTENS!!!