CHRISTMAS MUTHA FUCKERS!!
And you know what that means?
It’s that time of year when I turn into a kid
And lose my shit over everything
On an hourly basis
Decorations
Christmas Carols
Shopping
Snow
All of it
Add a little case of jetlag to that
(my body clock seems to think that 1am is a good time to start the day)
And I am positively fucking giddy right now
This is what greeted me at the airport when I arrived home Sunday
I totally busted out singing, “…it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas”
And I could feel all my fellow passengers around me staring
I’m pretty sure it was jealousy
‘Cause there’s not too many five foot mamas who can rock the fucked-all-night-and-hung-out-wet look
That one has after sitting in a plane for eleventy-million hours
And still look fucking fab
Clump of matted hair on the back of my head
Melted chocolate stains on my shirt
Crusty smudged mascara
Slight limp from my cramped legs
And then singing Christmas carols like Janis Joplin with a throat infection?
I’m surprised security didn’t pat me down on my way OUT of the airport
The pure fucking hotness I was radiating
As much as I wanted to share my fabbo-ness
I thought it best I save myself for my lucky-bastard of a husband
Who took one look at me when I walked in the door
And said, “….dude you look like shit
Did your plane getting fucking SHOT down?”
Have I ever told you that you make me laugh… seriously. I reckon you’d be a hoot to travel with. As long as you didn’t make us all end up in customs being searched with latex gloves, of course. My sympathies to your long-suffering (if slightly over-honest) hubby!
🙂
BB
HAHA you remind me so much of my aunt, except the time she started singing that and dancing the can-can holding onto the doorway she was tipsy off the bubbles of her shandy… Yay for medication!
I have a compulsive urge to touch every piece of tinsel I see…