We had a family day at the Zoo yesterday
*insert related to animal joke here*
It was finally a warm day here
92 degrees! (33C)
We made sure we bought our hat and slathered on plenty of sunscreen
Well, some of us did
Somebody may have forgotten their hat and had to go into the giftshop and buy a new one for the price of a small car but it doesn’t matter because I someone looks totally banging in it
Macoroni took lots of notes, as she does
She proudly named all the Australian animals and birds before I could
Poppy has taught her well
While we were having lunch Magoo declared very loudly that she had “…NEVER SEEN SO MANY AFRICAN AMERICAN PEOPLE ANYWHERE…EVER!!”
And while we were trying to get the fuck out of the restaurant quietly leave, she spotted a woman with an Afro, with a comb stuck in it
And wanted to know “…is that stuck in her hair for her religion…you know…like those brown ladies wear towels on their heads and sheets for dresses?”
Next time, we’re getting her a muzzle
We spent most of our time in the monkey exhibit
Again, feel free to *insert related to animal joke here*
I could have watched them all day
They were lining up to clean each other and pick each others noses
It was thoroughly entertaining
It would be even better if someone could teach them to do this
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Wait till she gets to the pakistani with a red dot then tells him or her to “Stop picking”. My nephew came out with that one a few years ago. My sister could have died on the spot.
A man walked into a bar with his pet monkey.
The bartender said, “You can’t bring that monkey in here!” The man replied, “Don’t worry, he won’t cause any trouble.”
Within seconds the monkey jumped on the pool table and swallowed the cue ball. The bartender yelled, “Hey, he just ate my cue ball. No one can play pool anymore! Get out!” So the monkey and the man left.
The man left but came back one week later with his monkey. He apologized to the bartender and promised no more trouble. The bartender let him and the monkey stay.
Later that night, the monkey walked over to a bowl of grapes, put one in his ass, and then ate it. The bartender said, “That’s disgusting! Why did he do that!”
The man said, “Since he swallowed the cue ball, he sizes everything up before he eats it.”
It reminds me of what my 5 yr old boy came out with. We were up in London taking my oldest for a hospital appointment and where we go there is a high percentage of Muslim people. Well my son had never seen a Muslim woman complete with her burka and mask, all you could see were eyes. My boy points her out and at the top of his voice shouted “it’s got no mouth and no nose- mummy it’s a NINJA!”