breaking the rules

All girls know the rules

Never put out on the first date unless you’re in Memphis and he’s really cute

Never eat after 8 o’clock at night unless you pass a Krispy Kreme and you’re really REALLY hungry coz then is’t TOTALLY worth the guilt and the too tight pants

Never google the words “camel toe” unless you’re a stoopid sheila song writer

Never fart in an empty elevator within SECONDS someone else will walk in and look at you like you’re a dirty poo stain

Never pluck your eyebrows when drinking it will never end well

And the most important rule?

If you have girlfriends that are taller, skinnier and cuter than you

Never, EVER get your photo taken with them

And if you do……for fuck’s sake

DO NOT, post it on your website

But if you are determined to show the world you’re an utter fuckwit

And you DO put up a pic of your cute, tall, skinny friend Susie (with her hubby Randall)

Just make up for it by adding another pic

WITHOUT you in it

But, with the added beauting-ful-ness of KBW & Angry Anderson

And WHAMMO, everyone’s forgotten what a shocker you are!