turning japanese

Yeah, couldn’t resist using that as the title for this post

I know I’m not the only fossil out there that remembers this awesomeness

Mum, Dad & I are heading off to Japan this week, to play at this

Well, Dad & I are playing at it

Mum has to come too

Or we’d have no clean underwear

Or someone to fill in those custom forms for us

I’ve never been to Japan and I’m a bit excited

Going to ride the bullet train

Eat REAL sushi

Do as many touristy things as our schedule permits

Might even go and get made up as  geisha

If I can find a kimono that comes in size buffalo

My brother dropped of a guide book of useful Japanese phrases

You know, because he’s a pilot which is totally a real job and means he’s smart and probably adopted and travels even more than I do

He said it would be a great help to me

I’ve looked through it twice and can’t find the phrases that I think I’d really need to know

Like,

What the fuck is that on my plate?

Yes, all Australian girls are exactly like me

Is your internet high speed….like, downloading porn high speed?

I’m really sorry about that smell….it was probably me

No, he’s not my father

I don’t have enough yen to to post bail…I’ll trade you my freedom for a guitar with big boobies on the back, deal?