got it

R.I.P

*sniff*

And

Woooo hooooooo mother fuckers!!!!!

I am here to tell you

That if you whine, whinge & piss people off enough and work hard

What you seek shall be yours

This works for just about everything

Except maybe fitting into those jeans you so should have thrown out 6 years ago because you are NEVER going to fit into them so get over it sister

????

OK anyhoooo

 

I got me an iphone

I got me 2 iphones

One for Diamond & one for me

Technically, Diamond didn’t want one

He thinks computers suck and cell phones give you cancer

I know, could we BE more alike??

So to make myself feel better I thought I’d slowly bring him up-to-date with his own iphone

How excitement!

I have them turned on and charging at this point

Now what?

I see people tapping away on these things everywhere

Airports, cars, restaurants

All over the joint

What are they doing?

Do I just bang away at it

Or is there something I should actually be DOING on it?

And what are all these application thingies that people have on them

GPS, games, restaurant finders blah blah blah

I’m after the application that opens my wine for me and rubs my feet

 

Doesn’t really matter though – ’cause it LOOKS awesome

And that’s really all that counts isn’t it?

 

Now I just need to pick out a cover for each of them

Just something simple to protect it from when I’m drunk and I drop it

Was thinking something plain like this maybe

Too much?

How about this little inconspicuous number then?

And because Diamond is not into flashy stuff

He’s a steak and potatoes man

Nothing says ‘homely’ like this one 

I reckon he’ll love it

 

I should really have a spare one

I’m thinking this would be the way to go

Mmmmm…. chocolate

 

Watch me get drunk one night and end up in the emergency room surrounded by laughing doctors and nurses as they look at my new iphone on the xray machine

In my stomach!

Better wear clean undies and wax just in case…