kicked out already

Miss 5 starts big girl school next week

She’s very excited and we took care of all her back to school shopping last week

It’s still only half days, but 5 days a week now

Her new school has a lot of boring as bat shit things and activities leading up to the first day to get the kids comfortable with their upcoming kindy classes

One of them was last week and we decided to all go together as a family and pretend to be normal ’cause Miss 5 wanted us to come

We even had showers and brushed our hair

Miss 3 too!

We get there and there’s food. Good start

There’s coffee too so Diamond’s happy

I was trying not to sweat it too much that I couldn’t find a bar. It was a breakfast gathering – so I was going to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Or at least until 10am

The principal got up and did a nice little welcoming speach

Short and sweet. That got her 10 points right there

Then the pastor got up for his turn

Yeah, that’s right, I said pastor. She’s going to a Catholic school.

I went to one and look how I turned out?

Stop laughing you arseholes!

So anyhooo, the nice Pastor’s up there and he’s got the kids yelling out and repeating what he was saying

“I love Jesus”

I can’t hear you, he says

At this point I’m also trying to stop Diamond from picking up Miss 5 and walking out

He’s a big fan of religion

HUGE even

There I go lying again

“I love JESUS”

Still can’t hear you

“I. LOVE. JEEESUS!”

By this stage the kids are screaming their responses back at him and he’s pretty stoked

He thanks them all and steps off the podium

After everyone stops clapping and it gets quiet, Miss 3 turns to Diamond and me and says,

Who in the HELL is Jesus anyway??