Parody of KEV’S COURTIN’ SONG by KEVIN BLOODY WILSON
Parody by JENNY TALIA
BOTH BARRELS MUSIC
I’d just hit me teens
And was still pretty green
‘Bout boys and the ways of the world
Full of questions and doubts
Trying to figure it out
Just what were the rules for a girl?
‘Cause a boy in my class
Got the courage to ask
If I’d go to the school dance with him
I blushed and said yes
Then what I did next
Was call up and asked all my friends
Should we touch on first dates?
And does that mean he likes me?
Should we go to first base?
Whatever that might be
And is it OK
To slip me hand in his pocket?
‘Cause I never felt a willy before
Or will he ask me to stop it? (DUH!)
It didn’t take long
To learn what’s going on
And just what makes a man tick
‘Cause when it comes to girls
They see the world
Through the eye of their dick
So at the end of the night
When it’s time to decide
Will I go home or go home with him
It’s all up to me
So what will it be
Will we both lose or both have a win?
Should I fuck on first dates?
Should I stay ‘til the morning?
Will I remember his name?
Was I just drunk and horny?
Would I see him again?
If he really likes me
But if he only rates less than an eight
Not fucking likely
So when I’m old grey
And I’ve seen better days
And me tits and arse start heading south
And the men in me life
Even worse state than I am
Plagued by the droop and the gout
Well I’d like to think
That some of me bits will
Still work as good as they do now
So when the men come a calling
Or get wheeled to me door
I’ll let ‘em in and the held ‘em out
Should I suck on first dates?
Might not be here tomorrow
So should I spit it out?
Or just gargle and swallow?
If he still gets it up
Then I’ll do the rest
I’ll just dim the lights and take out me teeth
And gum him to death