By JENNY TALIA & KEVIN BLOODY WILSON
BOTH BARRELS MUSIC
I got a list, I got to give
Any intended spouse
He’s got to read and then agree
Before he takes me out
10 things I’ve written down
10 things he needs to know
10 things I’ll never say
Before or after our wedding day
10 things you’ll never hear me say
Number 10
Don’t worry about our anniversary – you just go play golf
Number 9
Stand back when you piss, if you miss doesn’t matter
I’ll wipe it all off
Number 8
What’s that you didn’t get the raise?
Of course I’ll sleep with your boss
10 things you’ll never hear me say
Number 7
Threesome, why didn’t I think of that? I’ll just phone a friend
Number 6
I love your breath when you’re hungover – ooh tongue kiss me again
Number 5
I’m bored – let’s shave my mutt and see how that looks then
10 things you’ll never hear me say
10 Things I’ve written down
10 things he needs to know
10 things I’ll never say
Before or after our wedding day
10 things you’ll never hear me say
Number 4
I love it when you fart like that – I think you touched cotton – genius!
Number 3
Lets make a home video so all your friends can see us
Number 2
This diamond’s way too big, just like your penis
10 things, you’ll never hear me say
So that leaves one more thing – I’ll never say
I’ve saved this one for last – you’ll never get your way
You can plead, you can grovel, you can cry you can beg
Number 1
I know it’s really tight back there but just spit on it and try again
That’s one thing you’ll never hear me say – no way
Yeah, there’s the 10 things you’ll never hear me say – ok?
Year there’s the 10 things you’ll never hear me say