when in blackpool

And you’re looking for somewhere to stay

Do yourself a favour and stay here

NUMBER ONE BED & BREAKFAST

This was my room

And it was awesome!

Best bed of the tour so far

I went into a coma as soon as I hit the pillow

Which had nothing to do with my red wine consumption, so shut up!

There was even a flat screen TV in the wall above the bath which I didn’t get to use ’cause I napped instead which I’m totally going to use next time

The hotel was full of little personal touches that made us feel so comfortable

Our rooms had everything – robes, homemade cookies, hot water bottles, books, porno movies, flowers

Big, big, BIG homemade brekky

We get to stay in some pretty cool places, but at the end of the day, it’s a hotel

But Number One lives up to it’s name, and gave us a little taste of home

If I’d rolled over to see Diamond in the bed with me and had the girls run in and wake me up this morning, it would have been perfect!

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Also, something else fun to do if you’re ever in Blackpool

Go the to the Blackpool Opera House

Frank Sinatra, Jimi Hendrix and even the Beatles have played there

You can now add Kevin Bloody Wilson & Jenny Talia to the list

Yeah baby!

It’s as haunted as a mofo, but they didn’t tell me until afterwards ’cause I would have been shitting myself I ain’t scared of no ghost

Grab a guitar, jump on stage and do a few songs for a shitload of people you’ve never met

That, is what makes coming to Blackpool such a good time

They sure know how to laugh hard and drink like fish and sing loud in this part of the world

Well, except for the fucktard in the back row

Why is that if there’s a fucktard in the house, he’s always in the BACK row?

PUSSY!

No matter

Dude learnt the hard way that the chick on the stage, with the double D’s and the microphone

Is ALWAYS going to win

And do you know what?

He might have been a fucktard

But he kinda made my night

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I almost feel bad for making him cry

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ALMOST