Thelma & Louise

For the first half of this quick trip to Oz

I have four shows in 4 days

Which is no biggy

But the shows are/were all over the shop

So me & my mate Heiny (who scored that nickname from Miss 6 when she was 1 & couldn’t day her name properly – and she’s been called Heiny ever since)

Please don’t tell her that in America, your heiny means your arse

That would ruin my fun

Anyhooo, Heiny & I decided we were going to do these 1st 4 shows Thelma & Louise style

Only without Brad pit and the drive off the cliff at the end

But other than that – EXACTLY the same as the movie

And with WAY more flies

So, we got in the car last Thursday to head off for the first show in Geraldton

404km (251 miles) away

And after arriving in Perth the night before & catching up with Nan & Pop

That drive felt like for-fucking-ever was long

And for the record I would NEVER get in the fucking car if Heiny was driving Heiny has a driver’s license in name only

She doesn’t have a car, and really only does any driving at all, maybe once every couple of years, when I’m here and get drunk and she drives if we go out

But only on 10 minute drives, tops

‘Cause she could’ve starred in the movie, “Driving Miss Daisy”

Speedy Gonzales she is not

So, the big, long drives were going to be mine

And Heiny’s job was the wingman

Which pretty much means she had to keep me awake by passing me Clinkers and opening cans of Sprite for me

She’s very good at her job

We were most excited about our big adventure

Got to Geraldton in plenty of time

Did the soundcheck

Grabbed some dinner

Did the show

Which was a beauty, but then I’ve never had a bad time in Gero

They call it Kalgoorlie by sea

And being a Kalgoorlie girl, I’ve always felt super-comfortable there

Anyhoo

Got to bed at 3am

Woke up at 6am

And got back on the road for the drive back to Perth

So if you’re keeping track

And you know me at all

You’ll see that not much sleep is being had

Sleep depravation & me do not get on at all

In fact, I think last time we met

Sleep depravation beat the ever-lovin’ shit out of me

So once we got back to Perth

I passed out for an hour at Mum & Dad’s

Then we headed out to do the soundcheck for the Perth show

It was at this point that the whole, ‘Thelma & Louise’ road trip adventure

Started to reveal itself as a really fucking stupid idea

The fact that it was MY idea in the first place did not go un-noticed by Heiny

Who smirked and ignored me every time I whinged about being tired

So to cut a long story not very short at all

After the Perth show

Which was so much fun I think I may have soiled myself

But I’m pretty sure it was just sweat

Maybe

We said fuck it

Booked ourselves on a flight the next day

‘Cause there was NO WAY I we were going to rack up anymore stupid bitch miles by driving the 594kms (251 miles) to Kalgoorlie

So here we are in Kal

My hometown

Off to take some pictures

Which I’ll post soon

Thelma & Louise may  have died in the arse

But Jenny Talia & Heiny are alive and well

And way CUTER

Well at least one of us is

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