bob the builder (on meth)

I got an email with the subject: MEN CAN FIX ANYTHING

With a shitload of pictures attached

But as I was scrolling through the photos

I was like, dude, there is nothing in ANY of these pics that I couldn’t have thought of myself

And I have a vagina!

So here they are, in no particular order

I give you things that any (dumb arse) one, male OR female

Could totally have fixed:

You call this ugly

I call it creative landscaping

.

This?

What the fuck could be so valuable in this hoopty  crap heap, that you had to PADLOCK it?

Your kids maybe?

.

Diamond fixed the air in my car last week

After I told him that this was my ‘fix it’ plan

.

There’s no other word for this pic but stupid

Stupid, stupid, STUPID

How else could you defend, that amongst all those bottles and cables

There is not ONE bottle of sunscreen

It’s like they’re ASKING to die from skin cancer

Arseholes

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We so needed this yesterday afternoon when Diamond was grilling for the masses

Next week, I’m going to crank out this utensil and just let the shock & awe of our guests wash over me

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Yo, who’s the perve sneaking into my bathroom and taking pics?

They’re obviously jealous as all get out of, not only my inventive methods of water supply

But also my uncanny knack for interior design

Eat my mould Martha Stewart

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What’s to bitch about here?

At least the dude is FIXING his truck

And probably about to be crushed to death in the process

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Who says Lego’s just for kids?

I do, you pair of fruitloops

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I’m not convinced that whatever this is, is even fixed

It’s a bomb, right?

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This is just awesome

What the point of wearing a helmet, when you’re going to die anyway?

.

Another brilliant use for an empty Sprite bottle

Besides a bong

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This is fixed?

I’d love to see the ‘before’ pic

.

Who hasn’t done this with a CD at some point?

It better not be a Jenny Talia CD though

Or I might just have to cut a bitch

.

I’m not sure a slab of concrete would have been my first choice to fix the gear stick on a car

A resin coated Scorpion is ALWAYS plan A

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This is fixed?

And these parts, that thar letter box is just plain fancy

.

Just awesome

Although the note could have been written more effectively, like

Please do not move stool

You dumb fuck

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Another fabbo idea right here

Go to the shop – buy meat – steal trolley – use stolen trolley to cook meat

Genius

.

And my favourite

I would jump on board if I saw this little ‘go get ’em’ mobile limping past

The dude looks like he could use a friend

*thanks Brett