let me out

So I’m all ready to board my flight to San Francisco 

Then on to Chicago

Have my little list of what I will not fucking fly without must haves at the ready

 

• good book
• charged up ipod
• noise canceling headphones
• chocolate dried apricots
• sleeping tablet
• butt ugly sweats comfy clothes

 

So I’m all set

Except when I come out of the bathroom in the Qantas lounge all totally gorgeous refreshed after brushing my teeth & hair – there’s no one in the joint

The whole room is empty

Bizarre

There were at least 10 people in there when I went into the bathroom 30 10 minutes ago

So I’m headed to the door when this bitchy chick in a uniform Qantas lady and a security guy come charging up and they’re all,

How did you get in here?

And I’m like

Well duh you arseholes with my Qantas Club Card

Miss Bitchy says

We are closed

You were about 90 seconds away from being locked in this lounge overnight

and I’m all

Like fuck you were lady Wow that would have sucked

She says,

We realised there was a security breach and got here straight away

 

Oh yeah

What every airport should be on the lookout for

A five foot tall Australian sheila with PMS and deadly gas a guitar