morning balloons

When I woke up yesterday, this was the view from my hotel balcony

Very cool no?

So I grabbed a cup of tea to keep me warm and decided to check them out for a while

Didn’t worry about a jacket ’cause dude, I live in Chicago

So while the people down below on their way to work were all bundled up in scarves and boots

I was upstairs, on the balcony, in my bikini

I wasn’t really in a bikini

I may have overstated my toughness somewhat

But you get my point

Anyway – back to the balloons

As I type the word ‘balloons’ I just had a flashback to school days

Where one of my best friends Elana

Could never say the word balloon properly

She always pronounced it ‘balloo-wen’

I used to give her a lot of shit about that

Miss 3 and the word ‘full’ have the same relationship

She’s always saying, ‘Mummy, I’m so fu-well’

And I’m all like, ‘Yeah your very cute ‘n shit, now go eat your fucking vegetables’

And no matter how fu-well she is – she’s always got room for chocolate

No surprises where she gets that from

 

God, I think I have ADD get sidetracked easily 

Back to the balloo-wens

This one started to go down really low

Really fast

And all I could think about was,

Woah, if this crashes I’m so going to be on the news giving my eyewitness report 

And re-enacting the sound of the crash like rednecks do after a tornado wipes out their trailer homes

It was all like WOOOOSH

Then a big BOOM, BAM *CKLUNKERPLOP

THUD, THUD CRAAAAAASH DUDE!

I was torn between sticking around to take photos of the impending crash

Or running inside to change out of my bikini put some makeup on before the news crews arrived

 

Then the balloo-wen pilot went and fucked up my breakout moment saved the day and started steering that bad boy back up where it belonged

And then he met up with his friends and they headed off into the Melbourne smog big blue yonder to live another day

And yeah, yeah, I’m soo happy everyone’s safe

And blah, blah fucking blah

 

Note – I totally spell checked *CKLUNKERPLOP – and that IS the right way to spell it!!

 

One comment

  1. Nuffin wike a balloo-wen co-wisch-n or dis-assta to indwuce medee-ah pwosso-biwoah-teez!Zzzzzzzzzz fwuck I’m sweepy…

    PS See what you do??? It’s like eating chips…can’t read one! I’m old! It’s late! Stop making me…!

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